An Open Letter to the First and Only Girl Band I Stan

Seeing them for the 2nd time around…

I admit that this feels like the first time. I know I have been here before but but but the feeling is still like doing it for the first time. Well, the venue, of course, is for the first time.

The venue was in SM Mall Of Asia Arena. It was not my first time in the area but it was my first at the arena.

As usual, we already know that 2NE1 will be having a concert in the Philippines even if there is no official announcement yet because you know as a hardcore fan, rumors travel fast.

So the usual buying of the tickets without asking the parents firsthand became a habit of mine. I am such a pain in the ass. I know. HAHA.

This time, I was more prepared. I was more knowledgeable and confident in attending concerts and in seeing them.

This time, I was accompanied by hardcore fans, unnies and oppas (Korean word for older girl and boy friend). It was a moment that I was already looking forward to. It was a moment that we all have been waiting for for 5 years.

This time, I was not feeling afraid to see them instead I was feeling loved and inspired. That feeling of seeing the first light of the sun at dawn while sipping a hot brew of your fave drink. That feeling of going to the beach after long-months of staying in the house cause of the pandemic. That kind of feeling.

We went to Manila, 3 days before the concert because we need time to prepare and because we want to welcome 2NE1 warmly and the best way to show that is at the airport. Also, we want to be one of those fans who can say that we were breathing the same air with them. We were that kind of fan. It was my first time trying that kind of gesture. It was really really fun and exciting but I don’t think I would do that ever again for anyone other than them.

After that, we also went to Shangri-la mall. They were having a fan meet there and I did not get any ticket because I can’t seem to get a hold of anyone to buy me a ticket at that time so we were content seeing the girls on the ground floor from the 3rd floor. I know that it was an opportunity that I will always regret but oh well, that’s life. I learned from it. (charots)

Concert day came and my phone acted insanely so I did not really meet all of my blackjack friends but that’s okay because I have my people with me and that is all that matters.

We were pretty early at the venue like it was 7 am and the concert will start at 7 pm haha OHMYGOSH! I know, right? That’s how excited we were.

You really need to be early in the venue because there are many giveaways from senior admins of groups and to chat with fellow blackjacks and just feel the excitement roaming around the area.

3 pm came and those who had soundcheck access can enter the arena and of course, your avid fan here signed up for that. As I step inside, there I see those 4 tiny humans from afar, and my tears ricochet. My inspiration, my bee to my honey, my Samson to Delilah, my heaven on earth, and all positive adjectives there is, is now in front of me. I still can’t believe it. They were singing some snippets of their songs and they were conversing with us. My heart beats as one with everyone in the room. We do not need to say it out loud.

6pm came and concert is about to start. This is it. This is the moment I was waiting for. We were waiting for. I cannot exactly remember the first song they have sung but I can clearly remember my favorite part of the concert and it was when they were slicing the cake. I forgot to mention that of all the places they can celebrate their anniversary, they chose the Philippines and I thank Sandara for that. They were slicing the cake, it was really fun to watch them. They were also singing in and out. And Minzy went to our side but I don’t know if she was watching me or the guys behind me but I am still grateful for it. Sandara almost took a picture on the polaroid camera of my bff, just almost. I just want to hug them so tight. I just want to freeze to that moment forever. It was the best day of my life and I feel that time passed by so quickly. Why does time quickly passes by when one is totally enjoying the moment?

10pm came and we were waiting for the bus to take us to the after concert party. I remembered that I bought another ticket for it because I left mine at the hotel. Goodness gracious. How can I be so stupid? Anyways, the venue for the party was in Solaire Hotel and Casino. It was superb. I think it was my first time inside a casino. When we were inside the venue, we had to find our bearing because the people were already cramped up near the stage and considering our body built and height, we were at a disadvantage so we settle at the back. We do not have any other choice. So, when they appeared, we were just content at dancing with the beat and watching them from afar. It was still a moment that I will forever treasure.

I left my heart out at the venues. I came home heavy with memories and experience. I came. I saw. I filled my heart with contentment. Little did I know that it was there last concert ever.

Fast-forward to 202NE1

I have been carrying this disbandment ache for 5 years now.

And it is time to let this ache go but I will never stop supporting and loving the four of you in your careers.

I am content seeing the four of you in your own spotlight. I can now fully listen to your songs without crying and feeling bitter. I guess I am a mature fan after all.

I am now fully healed. Time really heals all wounds.

I love you, my queens. Keep shining and producing quality content. I may not be active as before but know that once I am needed, I will be there.

P.S. I am an admin in our Cebu Blackjack Page. Join if you want.